Matisyahu's Blog

It is fun to sometimes to ‘ride the algorithm’ on YouTube to see where it takes you and what I found is a bunch of relationship videos appearing – a few funny shorts along with some long form discussions with a good portion either rage bait or people who clearly lack of the maturity to be in a relationship with another person. With all that being said I do find it as a great way to find interesting topics or as a starting point when I get a writer’s block or find that I have some ideas swirling in my brain but there isn’t a coherent way to bring it all together.

One of the topics that were bought up in the YouTube videos I saw were the dysfunctional nature of relationships – particularly of millenials and the gen z (keeping in mind that there wasn’t an idealised time in the past and somehow we ‘fell from grace’ (to use a religious turn of phrase)) where those in the relationship can’t see to find moderation between having hobbies, interests etc but also understanding they’re in a relationship that needs to be nurtured or seeing every decision that isn’t focused on them at the centre of the relationship as an example of a failing relationship.

I was thinking about my grandparents as one example, my granddad was involved with the local Masonic Lodge and also helped out with the local RSA, grandma was involved with the local ‘Spinners and Weavers’ club along with helping out with the women’s division of the Masonic Lodge. They had a long lasting marriage because they both had things outside of their marriage to kept them sane, they maintained their friendships with people they knew since primary school.

I really have to wonder whether this change has come about as a result of the ‘me, me me, it’s all about me’ generation where personal fulfilment is the only thing that matters and as a result a generation of narcissists with the main character syndrome have convinced themselves that anything less than being the centre of everything is depriving them of something they are owed as a matter of birthright. I guess we can have a look at the rise of neoliberalism and hyper individualism, the idea of relationships playing second fiddle to individual wishes, whims and desires which is great if you’re wanting to tap into individual insecurities by promising a commodified lifestyle that be bought (and in the process creating the treadmill of unhappiness -> desire product because it promises to fix the unhappiness -> acquisition -> honeymoon period -> unhappiness).

One could make the argument that capitalism benefits from having a large number of unhappy and insecure people believing that fulfilment isn’t found through relationships, community, religion etc. but through the acquisition of goods and/or services while ignoring the fact that the demand is manufactured through the promise that said product will fill that void in their life when in reality shortly after getting it they feel just as empty as before. The capitalist class ends up benefiting but society as a whole is falling apart and unfortunately, we see the consequences manifest itself as seen in recent events. The problem is that as long as people convince themselves that capitalism equals freedom then it’ll serve a distraction from the fact that they’re not really free.